I was looking forward to her. Yes I wanted to fuck her again and I was thinking she wants the same.But something was wrong. During the dinner she didn't even look at me. No flirt, no blowing kiss, no touch.When she was washing dishes I came to her from behind and grabbes her ass, she turned around and gave me a big slap. I was staring at her for a while and after few secs left her alone.Me and my cousin were in his room, watching tv and chatting when aunt come to tell us good night and asked me if I can go to the kitchen with her. For the first I didn't want to. I was upset but after while I went.She was in the nightie, ready for bed. My uncle was in there already.I expected that she will jump on me and fuck the brain out of me but nothing like that happened.She took my head to her hands and gave me a kiss as an apologise. ¨Sorry for that slap today honey. But I was not really in my skin. I have my days and sometimes I'm nervous and angry. Just...you know...I wish we could do it. The waves of complexity started to crash down upon me and I very quicklybecame swamped by them. I realised that I had to sort out my feelings andbring some sense of order to the confusion that threatened to engulf me. SoI did the only thing that I knew would make the sense out of it that Ineeded - I wrote. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I wrote every tiny littlethought and thread and feeling. I think that it was the first time that Iactually got up, when the phone rang. I glanced over at the clock and sawthat it was eight o'clock - it would be mum, with her usual check-in andmake sure that everything was OK call.We chatted for a minute or two and I said, lying again, that I had just donesome homework and lay about the house all day. Before I knew it I wasyawning and I realised that I had had both a physical and mentallychallenging day. I was still fairly sore, from taking my own virginity andwith all of the feelings bouncing around in my head and my attempt (which onreviewing it today.
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